On getting old

When you're 21

  • Start drinking with your uni mates at 8 p.m.
  • Run out of vodka by 3 a.m.
  • Realize you haven't had a proper meal in the entire day. Walk to a 24/7 greasy spoon on the other side of town to get a hot meal (with occasional cockroaches in it) at 4 a.m.
  • Back in the dorm room by 5 a.m. Smoke and talk about literature, politics, philosophy, and whatnot till 7 a.m.
  • Realize you have lectures at 9am.
  • Sleep for an hour and attend lectures the rest of the day.

When you're 54

  • Wake up and celebrate the fact that you slept well and didn't have to get up during the night to pee.