Thanks to notebookcheck.net, I've scored a Fujitsu Futro S730 passively cooled mini PC (technically, it's a thin client) with an AMD GX-217GA processor, 4GB RAM and an 8GB mSATA SSD. All of that for a princely sum of €14.03 — with free DHL shipping included. And that was not even the cheapest model in the store I bought it from.
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I've never had thought that the most tough test of my German would be... a vision test. I had to do it before ordering new glasses, and, boy, that turned out to be quite an ordeal! The guy in charge of the test was a fast talker (like a really, really fast talker), and he was like, Now focus on the third letter in the second row with your right eye, and tell me which option is better: 1 or 2. OK, now look at the cluster of points, and tell me which one looks better. Great! Let's do the same for the other eye.
Believe it or not, the test ended up with him asking me to read a longish text from a card.1 I was totally stressed, and I was sweating profusely, but I did manage to muddle through the entire thing. So now German language-wise, I fear nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G! And as a reward for my tribulations, I'll have new glasses in 5 to 10 days.
[1] I'm pretty sure that reading out loud wasn't part of the test — the guy was just having fun at my expense.